tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-70465145481384594022024-03-05T15:31:49.580-05:00Breastfeeding & Breast CancerAmyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14552556899207642038noreply@blogger.comBlogger24125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7046514548138459402.post-49894581113369678962014-02-07T07:20:00.000-05:002014-02-07T07:20:00.880-05:00Seven yearsSeven years ago I underwent surgery to remove a small lump in my breast. The lump and resulting pathology changed the next year of my life and brought breast cancer into my health history.<br />
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It is interesting being a survivor. I have many breast cancer sisters and enjoy providing information and support to newly diagnosed women.<br />
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In my other world, I am a mom to three children who keep growing up. My daughter who was a toddler at diagnosis, is now heading towards breast development and puberty. My post cancer baby is almost four. My oldest hardly remembers when mom had breast cancer, but knows it's part of his history too.<br />
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Having year after year of clean scans and no evidence of disease is great and relieving. Not everyone has been as lucky.<br />
<br />Amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14552556899207642038noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7046514548138459402.post-23121976848550304142012-07-22T08:38:00.000-04:002012-10-19T08:51:51.091-04:00ScaresIt's interesting how cancer really changes your perspective on things. Every new bump or pain or odd change in your body makes you think of cancer. If you thought nothing bad was ever going to happen to you, but then it did, it's like a rude awakening.<br />
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Since my cancer experience, I've had a few "scares." Times when something wasn't just right and my mind jumped right to cancer. Even if I had reason to believe that it was probably not cancer, somewhere in my mind I entertained the idea of cancer.<br />
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In these instances I've even had biopsies and that made it even more real, like a repeat performance: waiting for results, considering the what ifs... It is not a happy place. But as the optimist I am, I would brush off the what if's and try to go on with my life. After cancer, I just know too much. I have had friends die. It's hard to forget what I know and to not be concerned.<br />
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In one instance, I even needed surgery and general anesthesia again. I really had thought I could make it more than five years, maybe even most of a lifetime without surgery again. A hoarseness had become apparent with my voice. After many months of wondering if the hoarseness was here to stay and required a doctor visit, I finally consulted my doctor and also a specialist. In the video of my throat, I was shown a small bump in my false vocal chords. The doctor did not know what it was, but recommended it come out and soon. She did not want me having this bump grow and obstruct my breathing. <br />
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After consulting another specialist and confirming that the unknown bump needed to come out, I reluctantly scheduled surgery...and left my nursing toddler again.<br />
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The bump still baffled the doctor even after it was out. It wasn't until the pathology came back that it showed it was a xanthogranuloma. While these are benign growths that can occur in the body, the throat is a very odd place for them. <br />
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In the end, I did not have cervical cancer, or throat cancer, or even skin cancer. When I finally received the phone calls, the biopsies were always not cancer. I could leave the waiting place and go back to living life, just a bit more of my innocence lost.Amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14552556899207642038noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7046514548138459402.post-89320814750091849162012-02-10T10:23:00.000-05:002012-10-14T10:30:36.596-04:005 Years!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIQW98YEJKtEGsOwVf3YtYie5MTS3YkjipbPl2FZyGiJ20CGGpNHw1XTifP9Iv7klq0Do5etXoSK3rTQ2mRvepkqYxXeK9qwW0GA9aKIGe1rhG7zu_Iu-jcVYdtZE4rGA6qwI0lL25-xM/s1600/photo+(3).JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIQW98YEJKtEGsOwVf3YtYie5MTS3YkjipbPl2FZyGiJ20CGGpNHw1XTifP9Iv7klq0Do5etXoSK3rTQ2mRvepkqYxXeK9qwW0GA9aKIGe1rhG7zu_Iu-jcVYdtZE4rGA6qwI0lL25-xM/s320/photo+(3).JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
I'm thrilled to make it to five years since being diagnosed with breast cancer. I have three amazing children and a still wonderful husband. Hitting two years and planning a pregnancy was pretty special, but five years tops it. In addition I will celebrate my 40th birthday later this year and I am excited about making it to that milestone as well. <div>
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Life is good all around. Around here we still know how to have fun and exercise. I even teach hoop fitness classes once a week. Staying connected with women who have been diagnosed with breast cancer has been nice for me too. I stay connected on-line and meet newly diagnosed women locally as well. Volunteering my time supporting and providing information to breastfeeding mothers still is good too. I wasn't sure at one point if it would be too hard for me, but I'm glad I stuck with it and am thrilled to be a breastfeeding mother again.<br /><br /></div>
Amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14552556899207642038noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7046514548138459402.post-9186039907040633942012-01-27T11:45:00.000-05:002012-10-14T11:47:53.484-04:00Bras and the Quest for SymmetryI often wonder if bra shopping will ever be the same.<div>
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After my first surgery, I noticed my breast was a bit smaller than the other. It wasn't very noticeable in clothes and I didn't worry about it.</div>
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Then I had my second surgery and now I had one natural breast with a nipple and one breast mound. I found that a padded bra felt more comfortable for me. It hid any imperfections of my surgery and my one nipple.</div>
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The next bra scenario happened when I was pregnant. All of the pregnancy hormones were headed to my one breast and it grew and grew. The other did not. I finally sought out a local mastectomy boutique to see what my options were. They fitted me with a padded mastectomy bra and sold me a mini prosthesis. It was actually more of an enhancement designed to give someone with breasts a little boost.</div>
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Finally I am even bigger, full of milk on one side, and nursing. My bra options seem to dwindle even further. I would like a nursing bra, but I also like the pocket on the mastectomy bras for my "enhancement." I see what the mastectomy boutique has to offer. We find a couple stretchy bras that will work for nursing and have a pocket. In addition, I find some of my old nursing bras and sew in a pocket on the one side. These options seem to work well.</div>
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As the years pass, I wonder if I can just shop in a regular store. I know what seems to work and what doesn't. I find a great fit and figure I can cut near the lining seam a touch to allow me to slip in my prosthesis.</div>
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As my mini enhancement prosthesis starts to degrade and lose it's firmness, I head back to the mastectomy shop. Initially I was very much turned off by the full prosthesis. I went through reconstruction and have a bit of a cleavage, I don't want to hide all that with a prosthesis and a full bra. But I was curious about other options. I was happy to find a small prosthesis that is not a full one, and it has a small nipple. I was so tickled to try it on with my bra and shirt and notice through my shirt that I have two nipples again. My brain sees two and feels symmetrical again. What amazes me most is that they look identical.</div>
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At some point I may consider more surgery to even things up. I will have to wait until I am done nursing and my natural breast gets back to it's final size. I still am not thrilled with the idea of a artificial implant inside my body. And even less thrilled that I may need to replace it in my lifetime. Right now, I keep the prosthesis in my bra for a couple days at a time and just put the bra on and off. I do wear a different enhancement in my swim suit which is a mastectomy suit. But I am comfortable around my family with nothing and in my nightshirt.</div>
Amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14552556899207642038noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7046514548138459402.post-23743929792489193212011-02-22T21:54:00.000-05:002012-10-19T09:37:15.032-04:00Coming Full Circle and Nursing Again<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgg150S29V5F_SnQX8TvIt8auc0XgBsvlCVtGcRy9tL3MI-Y3ih3JxH37hmaUGMFND5pZGAHUmHgSB-p22pc40BOBarLUPxkFTXHThUebDBu4bIGQr32zFweqgUySvnI7HtiITs22INZTQ/s1600/photo.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgg150S29V5F_SnQX8TvIt8auc0XgBsvlCVtGcRy9tL3MI-Y3ih3JxH37hmaUGMFND5pZGAHUmHgSB-p22pc40BOBarLUPxkFTXHThUebDBu4bIGQr32zFweqgUySvnI7HtiITs22INZTQ/s320/photo.JPG" width="220" /></a></div>
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Breast cancer influenced my nursing timeline three years ago. Having the opportunity to nurse a new baby has lessened the sadness surrounding that weaning. Nursing was always such a large part of mothering for me. Breastfeeding is more than food; it is warmth, comfort, reassurance, love, and more.</div>
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As a new baby, she didn't realize that she can’t nurse on both sides. She would try to latch onto anything and often would try to nurse though my shirt on whichever side I held her. I am conscious that I only nurse her on one side and try to hold her and have her sleep on my other side occasionally.</div>
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I am fairly protective of my remaining breast. Because I only have one, I had concerns about not being able to switch sides during a big growth spurt or even with sore nipples. For the most part breastfeeding on one breast has been an easy task. It is interesting to never need to switch sides and never wonder which breast I used last.<br />
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Chiropractic care has helped us both stay more even with the one-sidedness. Having a sore nipple is unique in that I can't know if it's occurring on both sides or not as there's only one. This is especially true for soreness due to hormonal changes. With two nipples, there is confirmation that the soreness is "normal" and on both sides. Probably the biggest challenge was developing mastitis at six months. It was rough and nursing through it was the best option. It certainly would have been nice to have two breasts then!</div>
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Through my volunteering as a lactation counselor and my personal experience of nursing two other children, I know that breastfeeding is all about supply and demand. I have seen twins nurse successfully. I know nursing on one breast is possible, but seeing it is amazing. I marvel that my body works so well and my baby thrives on just my milk.</div>
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As my baby turns into a toddler, I love that nursing is still a part of our lives. I see how important it is to her. She knows there's only one breast and nipple and it's just fine with her.</div>
Amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14552556899207642038noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7046514548138459402.post-52119594032595592162010-01-08T11:03:00.000-05:002012-10-20T11:14:55.580-04:00Becoming Pregnant<span style="font-family: inherit;">When I was diagnosed with breast cancer just over two years
ago, I wondered if I would ever be pregnant again. As treatment options became reality, it
seemed less and less likely. Now I am
pregnant again and it seems so normal, yet so long ago that I felt like
this. It was a lifetime ago, but only 5
and a half years ago. </span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfvtcIhQeS3GQ-jHj_dlbiwDDZwGgDUgwi483e3xTG1cNtkejIujFQj7a4YAu4hachM49h2TtRvEFSbgVGipHjgVlwVZHegbltPgrq40x7mNrh8GhG8H_9PknhV54mwxpR6HSBcIe3FAA/s1600/pregnantAmy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfvtcIhQeS3GQ-jHj_dlbiwDDZwGgDUgwi483e3xTG1cNtkejIujFQj7a4YAu4hachM49h2TtRvEFSbgVGipHjgVlwVZHegbltPgrq40x7mNrh8GhG8H_9PknhV54mwxpR6HSBcIe3FAA/s320/pregnantAmy.jpg" width="213" /></span></a><span style="font-family: inherit;">Having a cancer grow inside your body feels so foreign and
is something so unwelcome. Becoming
pregnant is taking back some of that control, though trying to get pregnant is
another lesson in lack of control. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Feeling my remaining breast swell and do what it is supposed
to do is so normal. Growing a healthy, normal baby again is so
fulfilling. </span></div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
I feel tremendously lucky that I have no evidence of disease and am able to be pregnant. If I had had a hormone receptive cancer, I would likely still be taking Tamoxifen and not pregnant.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
Even though I feel like a breastfeeding expert, I do have some concerns about nursing on only one
side. There isn't much information available for women who find themselves breastfeeding after a mastectomy. What if my nipple becomes damaged? What if she seems to need
more? Even though I know that through
the perfect system of supply and demand, she will have just enough.</span><br />
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Being older and post cancer treatment certainly has made this pregnancy a bit harder than my others. I started at a higher weight and did have some concerns about being 37 years old.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Already having a six year old and a ten year old brings many people to pause. Why the big space in my family? Do I really want to “start all over again?” Watching a baby grow and develop is an awesome experience, seeing it through my older childrens’ eyes is even more so. I know what to expect in some instances, but for them it’s like magic.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Ultimately choosing to have another baby and being able to was the best decision for me. It has been healing to see my body function more normally.</span></div>
Amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14552556899207642038noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7046514548138459402.post-37634466830104241342008-02-29T23:07:00.000-05:002012-10-20T17:25:49.989-04:00Finishing Herceptin and Cancer TreatmentThe new normal: what life f<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875);">ollowing a cancer diagnosis is often considered.</span><br />
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My life which used to be filled with toddler music class, story time at the library, shuttling to karate classes, visits with friends, the zoo, and the children's museum had been replaced almost entirely with doctor visits, IVs, fatigue, and a general sense of being distracted. I read cancer magazines, books about cancer, and participate on a message forum for young women diagnosed with breast cancer. I have scars and lots of doctors.<br />
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As my appointments began to space out and I neared my final Herceptin, I read about how patients often feel happiness mixed with some sadness. The cancer experience is a busy one mixed with not feeling great. Not much else goes on, even in one's mind. The patient is the center of attention at each appointment.<br />
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For me, I was ready to be done and have my days back, though it felt a little strange knowing I would have no plans to go back and get more IVs. It had become such a normal activity for me. I looked forward to feeling myself again and losing the gained weight.<br />
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It really wasn't until I was feeling rested and done with treatment that I realized how fatigued I had been. I hadn't stopped all our activities at once, they were slowly dropped. I had to try to remember what we had done with our days. I was ready to sign up for activities again and find our friends we hadn't seen.Amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14552556899207642038noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7046514548138459402.post-14759803578592550392008-02-10T16:44:00.000-05:002012-10-27T09:57:35.299-04:00The Golden Token<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 135%;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">So much like a quarter, similar in size and
weight, I even keep it in my wallet. Its presence carries hidden meaning. This
unique token is for the “special” parking lot at the cancer center. It grants
me entrance to a small lot near the cancer center, a branch of the hospital.
After my first visit, the receptionist asked if I’d ever be back. I answered
yes, I’d be back and she gave me my first token. Since then, I’ve always had at
least one golden token in my wallet waiting to gain access to the special
parking lot. Sometimes when looking for change, I spot the golden token and
remember when I’ll need to use it again. I don’t know when I’ll be done having
golden tokens in my wallet. I’ll need them for my follow ups with my oncologist
pretty regularly for at least two years. I imagine I’ll see her at least
annually for a long, long time. It’s amazing how something as ordinary as a
coin can hold such meaning for me. It signifies cancer and how it is now a part
of my life.</span></div>
Amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14552556899207642038noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7046514548138459402.post-18763804541255013832008-01-13T18:02:00.000-05:002012-10-21T20:12:21.261-04:00Follow-ups, Follow-upsMy first reaction at the mention of cancer was sadness that I would need to go to more doctor appointments. I don't think I could have imagined how many appointments I would actually need to attend.<br />
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Before even starting chemo, I needed to have an Echocardiogram to check on my heart. I was to receive Herceptin which can sometimes cause cardiotoxicity and effect the ejection fraction of the heart. After this initial check, I would continue to have checks every three months during the year of Herceptin treatment and a final follow up.<br />
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In making the many decisions for chemo treatment, surgery, radiation, and plastic surgery, I found it helpful to be as educated as possible. Part of my education came from seeking multiple doctor opinions. Not only did they present different opinions sometimes, they also talked about treatments in different ways. I really appreciated having the opportunity to meet with so many talented doctors.<br />
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Once I was locked into a treatment, I would have regular appointments at predetermined intervals. Pre-Ops and Post Ops, then every three months, every six months, finally annually. These regular appointments were with the breast surgeon, the plastic surgeon, the medical oncologist, and the radiologist at the breast imagine center.<br />
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For chemo, I had twelve weekly treatments of Taxol and Herceptin. Before each treatment, I would need to have a blood draw. Often patients are scheduled to have a blood draw and then wait an hour, then receive treatment. Because I wanted to minimize my time away from my toddler, I opted to have a blood draw in the morning with my toddler in tow, and return later to have my chemo. After completing the twelve weeks, I continued receiving Herceptin regularly for another nine months. Initially, I received it every week, then I switched to every three weeks of a higher dose.Amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14552556899207642038noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7046514548138459402.post-3387934553202718002007-09-27T15:20:00.000-04:002012-10-20T11:19:26.869-04:00Recovering from Breast Reconstruction Surgery<span style="font-family: inherit;">The surgery lasted four hours, that was the best case scenario. I didn't realize that I would not be able to eat or drink for another 24 hours after the surgery. This is a precaution in case I needed to head back into surgery. I am tired and not interested in the pain medications they are offering. I don't notice much difference in my pain, which is little, but I am hypersensitive to everything. With the morphine, I am regularly startled by the things going on around me.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Day 2 </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">I am allowed a liquid only diet. I still feel quite nauseous from the anesthesia. It comes and goes though. I have a local anesthetic pain pump for my leg incision which I guess is working ok. My breast area is numb and pretty comfortable. I feel some discomfort in the muscle at times. One of the sore spots I keep noticing is at my sternum. The doctor needed to cut a bit of my rib at the sternum in order to connect the blood vessel. I have a broken rib and it feels broken. I don't like the narcotics and have requested only Tylenol. I am able to walk around and get to the bathroom ok. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Day 3 </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">
</span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Finally some food! I still feel bits of nausea, but food helps. I have been ok'd to add Ibuprofen alternating with Tylenol. Passing the 48 hour window of recovery means the flap is probably going to be just fine. The doppler checks are spaced out and it looks like I will be leaving tomorrow on schedule.</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 21.33333396911621px;">
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhd5bDAN1cnjE7m-vQx_7Tgi4syb-NBqTrrWcq92g5Bnl-Y03IoQ8Iu2ugoYZ4V2yglQQz5f2NTi14ySTdAr-omfSBNmw57SMXLy9IO72TpyIkhf-UhuCU6BA05RC0ujHXMUd1wGfD0Kdw/s1600/post+flap+surgery.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhd5bDAN1cnjE7m-vQx_7Tgi4syb-NBqTrrWcq92g5Bnl-Y03IoQ8Iu2ugoYZ4V2yglQQz5f2NTi14ySTdAr-omfSBNmw57SMXLy9IO72TpyIkhf-UhuCU6BA05RC0ujHXMUd1wGfD0Kdw/s200/post+flap+surgery.jpg" width="188" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: small;">Day 15 post op</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
Day 4-10</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">I am healing and walking around the block and feeling well. From time to time I feel exhausted and need to rest. My surgical areas are healing well, though I still need the three drains though. On day 10, it's time for Herceptin again and it goes well.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
Day 16</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Had my "2 week follow-up" at the plastic surgeon's office. It is still recommended that I restrict my lifting another week or so. I can move from no bra to wearing a stretchy bra with no cup. They still recommend keeping the donor area of my thigh wrapped in an ace bandage for compression for another one to two weeks. </span><span style="font-family: inherit;">There are more sensations coming back to the breast area and I have a hard spot above. Physical Therapy would be a good idea down the road. </span><span style="font-family: inherit;">At home I walk twice around my neighborhood totaling 1.2 miles. My gait is normal, the pace is getting faster, almost normal. </span><span style="font-family: inherit;">My daily schedule is getting more normal as well. I can go to my appointment, the library, visit a friend and no longer need an afternoon nap.</span><br />
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Amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14552556899207642038noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7046514548138459402.post-31026952614600986082007-09-05T21:13:00.000-04:002012-10-20T11:20:26.654-04:00Surgery #2 - TUG Flap Reconstruction<span style="font-family: inherit; line-height: 135%;">My surgery will entail a mastectomy. While my general surgeon is
doing that, the plastic surgeon (ps) will be removing skin, tissue, fat and the
gracilis muscle from my inner thigh. He will cut the blood supply and prepare
it to become a breast mound - that is what they call it. After the mastectomy
(removing all breast tissue, nipple, and areola), my general surgeon will
leave. The mastectomy will take about an hour. The plastic surgeon takes over
now. He will spend the next 3 hours doing microsurgery to reattach the blood
vessels, create the illusion of a breast and sew/glue everything back together.
The total surgery should take about 4 hours.</span><br />
<div style="line-height: 135%;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 135%;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">After surgery I will be in the ICU or a step down from the ICU.
This is only because the new breast needs to be monitored every 1-2 hours for two
days. The temperature, pulse, and color will be carefully observed. I have been
told that the minimum hospital stay for this procedure is three nights. I will
be having a pump of local anesthetic pumped into my thigh for pain relief. I
will also have IV pain medication. Though many people do not report as much
pain in the breast area because all the nerves have been cut.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 135%;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 135%;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">At my pre-op appointment today I learned more about anesthesia
and what drugs are used for that. I will be fully asleep, my muscles will be
realaxed and I will have a ventilator for breathing and bringing in gas
anesthesia. As always, I feel more comfortable and confident with more
information.</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 135%;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 135%;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">I feel confident in my two surgeons and will allow my body to be
changed by them. I will also make a conscious decision to allow the medications
to come into my body and do what they are supposed to do. </span></div>
Amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14552556899207642038noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7046514548138459402.post-60504386124456800772007-07-20T11:36:00.000-04:002012-10-23T21:39:30.123-04:00Everyone Has SomethingIt was early on after my parents' accident and I was going about my day on autopilot: get kids ready, go to hospital, get kids home, go to karate, dinner, homework... I was hardly present in the moment. My mind was focused on my parents, getting to the next the next thing, and having this little lump and wondering if it was something worth worrying about.<br />
<br />
I had a moment where I felt like I was all alone with my experiences. No one had ever had all this happen at once, had felt overwhelmed, had all my family members hospitalized.<br />
<br />
It wasn't right away, but soon afterwards it occurred to me, probably no one else was in the same place as me. However, everyone has their thing. Everyone has something in their life which is hard and overwhelming and feels the most challenging right now. It is different for each person. But it is hard for them and that is the key. We all know hardships, they are just different.<br />
<br />
It might not be them personally, it might be a spouse, parent, child, close relative, or good friend. No one is alone in their "suffering," some may just choose not to share. I find it helpful to remember when out in the world.Amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14552556899207642038noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7046514548138459402.post-70133233588948171562007-07-13T17:46:00.000-04:002012-10-20T11:21:13.072-04:00The Radiation Decision<span style="line-height: 135%;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">I have some concerns about the long term effects of radiation
therapy. Radiation therapy is the standard of care for someone like me who had a lumpectomy. But I am 34 years old and I hope to live many, many more years. I searched and I could not find good information about the potential long term effects.</span></span><br />
<div style="line-height: 135%;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 135%;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">One thing that is good is that it is my right breast. If it were my
left breast, my heart would probably receive some radiation which could lead to
problems down the road. In my situation a partial mastectomy followed by radiation would be considered the same treatment as a full
mastectomy. </span></div>
<div style="line-height: 135%;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 135%;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Early on in my research I discovered that radiation targets active cells. Lactating breasts are very active and that radiation might actually damage the breast more if I was lactating.</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 135%;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 135%;">
</div>
<div style="line-height: 135%;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 135%;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Some people believe with radiation that one is able to “keep their
breast.” After being surgically altered and radiated, it’s really quite
different than before and not functional in the same way.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 135%;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 135%;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">In order to help make my decision, I sought the opinions of two radiation oncologists. Both assured me that radiation would be an acceptable decision for me. I actually went through the planning session with one of them and had a CAT scan and received my tattoos. Black Indiana ink is injected just under the skin marking where the CAT scan and later the radiation machine should line up. The black ink appears as small blue dots. My radiation oncologist was able to show me where the radiation field would be, which part of my lungs would be hit, which ribs, etc. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 135%;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 135%;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Initially I felt I would just have a mastectomy and be done. That would give me simple and straightforward surgery with a very short hospital stay. I could get back to my family and be done. It's interesting to me that many woman have gut reactions when they are diagnosed to just go ahead and have a double mastectomy. I never felt that way. As I started to really consider a mastectomy, I felt I probably would feel better getting some sort of reconstruction.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 135%;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 135%;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">In order to complete my research, I decided to meet with a couple plastic surgeons. If I really wanted to compare my options, I should know what my options are. The first plastic surgeon offered me an implant. The second offered microsurgery of a flap of my thigh to create a new breast mound.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 135%;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 135%;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="line-height: 135%;">Part of my thinking brings me to the end
result and not the process and what I'd like to be done and I usually come to
the surgery. The process does not sound great, but the end result should be a
better outcome in terms of cancer for me.</span> </span></div>
Amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14552556899207642038noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7046514548138459402.post-71856712186802781502007-07-10T22:11:00.000-04:002012-10-21T20:07:23.201-04:00The Breast MRI<span style="font-family: inherit;">Initially I was not offered a breast MRI as I was lactating. The doctors felt that I would likely light up everywhere and the test would not be helpful. It was not until after weaning and chemotherapy when I experienced my first breast MRI. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
As I was trying to gather as much information as possible regarding my decision to have radiation treatments or a mastectomy, I felt a breast MRI might aid in my decision making process.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="line-height: 135%;"><br /></span>
<span style="line-height: 135%;">I had never had any kind of MRI, but
had heard about the small confines of the tube. It's pretty small. For the breast
MRI, one lays face down on a flat surface with cutouts for the breasts. After
some time, it becomes rather uncomfortable. The head is either to the side or
looking down on a cutout. I did head to the side with pillows. Arms are above
the head, but hands cannot touch; a paper towel was laid between them. The room
is very cold for the machine so lots of blankets are available too. Earplugs
are highly recommended because the machine is so loud, clanking, alarm like
sounds, banging. The tech and nurse are in another room accessible by intercom
and a special button. When the machine is going, there's no communicating
really - it's much too loud. There were series of imaging, five I think. Each
one was a few minutes to seven minutes. It's very important to stay still all
the time, even between imagining as not to get out of position. After the first
two sets the nurse came in and injected contrast dye into my IV for the next
sets. At the end they had me wait one more minute to make sure everything
looked ok. By that time my neck and back were aching. Finally I got the ok to
wiggle and promptly banged my head, elbows and back on the tube forgetting how
small it really is. The whole thing is supposed to take about 30 minutes.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit; line-height: 135%;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit; line-height: 135%;">I got
the results of the MRI the same day in the evening. The left breast looks great
and there is one 6mm area of potential concern on the right. It’s hard to know
what it is so the Dr recommends an MRI guided biopsy with contrast. This area is likely scar tissue due to my past surgery. If I go ahead with a mastectomy, I don't see any reason to have a biopsy. If I will pursue radiation therapy, I would need to address this area of potential concern first. </span><br />
<span style="color: #3f3f3f; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;"></span>Amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14552556899207642038noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7046514548138459402.post-37517766786256860522007-05-02T14:16:00.000-04:002012-10-21T20:04:49.734-04:00Life Goes On<span style="font-family: inherit;">The weekly chemo treatments seem almost normal now. The day before I make sure to drink extra water to keep my veins hydrated. Before I go, I take a warm shower and keep my arm warm. Getting an IV every week seems normal. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7hI6XTe0ApG7EfWs_5-Y8soMd_L3C064WouyG6l042uTFxJtap8w4gu7qtcCcM-8BzLwXhO2zHsX_uwOTzDsPlYbs6qukncdZpZmdIRwUVaY6uZak2weMq_yp8wbzZJUrvyvrPMraopY/s1600/AmyChemoChair.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="color: black; font-family: inherit;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7hI6XTe0ApG7EfWs_5-Y8soMd_L3C064WouyG6l042uTFxJtap8w4gu7qtcCcM-8BzLwXhO2zHsX_uwOTzDsPlYbs6qukncdZpZmdIRwUVaY6uZak2weMq_yp8wbzZJUrvyvrPMraopY/s320/AmyChemoChair.jpg" width="320" /></span></a><span style="font-family: inherit;">After my <a href="http://breastfeedingandbreastcancer.blogspot.com/2007/02/the-first-surgery_7.html">first surgery</a>, I was offered more surgery to have a port. I was thrilled to make it through the first surgery without general anesthesia and I hoped to be done with surgeries. The nurses who administered the chemotherapy certainly seemed to prefer ports. I decided I would consider a port if we no longer could start an IV in my arm. I had a lot of IVs ahead of me and needing to do all of them on one arm was certainly a concern. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
Many times with chemotherapy, the patterns of side effects seem to become predictable. Certain days are "down days." I found that I would get a strange achiness in my upper arms and chest for a couple days and the fatigue was always there. It's a strange fatigue, one that doesn't get better after a nap. For most chemo drugs, hair starts to fall out starting on day 14. I was on hair watch and my hair didn't start then. It wasn't until day 22 that showering became more messy and if I touched my hair ten or more hairs came out. But I never had large bald patches, just thinning mainly in the crown area. So I didn't shave my head.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span><br />
<div style="line-height: 135%;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Each chemo appointment was about the same, first a blood test is done at least an hour in advance. Usually
I would go in the morning when I have afternoon infusions. It's just more convenient
for me and <st1:city w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">my daughter</st1:place></st1:city> can come along. The blood test is to mainly see how my white blood counts are.
If they are too low, I can’t have the Taxol. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 135%;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 135%;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Then to the IV…depending on the nurse (so far I’ve only had
women), she’ll either warm up the arm or just get started. My favorite nurse always just
gets started. One time I actually had to wait 45 min for someone to get
started. There were mini-emergencies going on and nurses were all occupied. </span></div>
<div style="line-height: 135%;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 135%;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">I get started with the IV and then get my pre-meds. I get Pepsid in one bag of
IV fluid, then it is switched with a nurse. Sometimes there is wait time
between switches too. Then comes an IV bag of Benedryl and Decadron. I have worked with my oncologist to lower the doses of Benedryl and Decadron. I seem to do fine with the Taxol and I really don't like the side effects of these two drugs. </span></div>
<div style="line-height: 135%;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 135%;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Then I get a big bag with
Herceptin. That takes between 30 min and 90 min. The first one is 90 min and then
we’ve decreased each time. Lately it has been 30 min and that is good. Although
I need to have my blood pressure taken multiple times on the same arm as the
IV. It doesn't feel too good while I was getting Herceptin. It burns during
Taxol, so we pause the IV during Taxol. After Herceptin comes a big bag with
Taxol. That takes 1 hour. After the Taxol and sometimes at other times I may
get switched over to a plain saline IV bag. After my “rinse” my IV is removed
and I’m free to go! So far these treatments have lasted 3-4 hours, but could
take closer to 2 hours theoretically.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 135%;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 135%;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">During all this time, there are lovely people coming and
offering drinks, lunch, fruit cup, cookies, ice cream. There is a nice tech who
comes to take my blood pressure and chats. I think it’s done four times at
least. Temperature is taken each time too. I sit in a comfy recliner, often
somewhat reclined and there are recliners in front of me, diagonally, and to
each side. Each one has curtains nearby, but almost never drawn. Some people visit
and many sleep. There are personal tvs for each people with earphones. I bring
my new MP3 player and listen to music for part of the time. I have a nice
blanket and warmed blankets are also offered. It’s a bit entertaining to go to
the bathroom, if I’m listening to my music, I have those wires, IV tubes, the
IV pole which has to be unplugged from the wall. My husband is often doing work on his laptop and
sits in a folding chair next to me. I get some computer time too and can use
the phone, look out the window, and rest.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 135%;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 135%;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Every 3-4 weeks I see the medical oncologist who just checks in
to make sure everything is going well. I can also call or email her. There are
also triage nurses who are available during the week for calls about just about
anything.</span><span style="color: #3f3f3f; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
Amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14552556899207642038noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7046514548138459402.post-36123575796934652332007-03-28T17:39:00.000-04:002012-10-14T10:40:22.061-04:00Wig ResearchWho knew that I would be learning about wigs and considering losing my hair. Many women seem to struggle with the thought of losing their hair and I did too.<br />
<br />
I can't imagine not being a redhead, it would be strange. In learning about wigs, I found a local stylist who sells wigs. She had some examples which looked very similar to my hair and she could cut it so it would look even more similar.<br />
<br />
Taxol usually has the side effect of losing one's hair, but it is also often offered in conjunction with other chemos. I will wait and see what happens before ordering the wig.<br />
<br />
It's funny how when considering losing ones hair, we do see it as a temporary situation..the hair will grow back. Many women are deeply saddened by the experience. When considering how long it takes for hair to get long again, it feels less of a temporary situation. Amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14552556899207642038noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7046514548138459402.post-21868185365720481152007-03-26T15:51:00.000-04:002012-10-14T10:59:29.846-04:00Starting ChemotherapyWe decided on twelve weekly treatments of Taxol and Herceptin. I couldn't believe I was actually starting chemotherapy. I'm fairly content with the decision to do only Taxol and Herceptin. It makes sense. Doing it weekly means that I will receive less drug each week instead of a triple dose every three weeks. My oncologist feels that I won't really have "down" days.<br />
<br />
With this whole experience, it really takes a human to be able to walk into surgery or walk into chemotherapy and know that you will be hurt, or get sick, but also know that these steps might just save your life. It's a very strange concept.<br />
<br />
Preparing for the first chemo was really hard. I had weaned off the first breast for surgery. Now I needed to step back production again. Because my daughter was no longer a baby, we could talk about everything. While she heard that I would be getting a medicine that would not be safe for her, that didn't mean that she really understood and could just let go of nursing. It's ironic, she had enjoyed sucking her thumb and nursing up until the age of 2 when I could easily discourage her from sucking her thumb. Now at 2 3/4, I was reminding her that she used to suck her thumb and she might like to do it again.<br />
<br />
We had a last nursing, but really our last nursing without timelines and thoughts of drugs and surgeries happened long ago. As we drove to the hospital, I cried, because again, things were out of my control in my life and with my children and I wished it wasn't so.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14552556899207642038noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7046514548138459402.post-5150759024012196392007-03-01T14:24:00.000-05:002012-10-13T19:11:41.213-04:00Yes, It's More Than DCISOh the waiting! Waiting for the surgical pathology was forever. I knew it would take at least a week, but the final few days of waiting took forever. I didn't want to miss the call either.<br />
<br />
From the beginning I wondered if the lump was more than DCIS and this pathology confirmed that it was, inside the 1.4 cm area of DCIS was a .6cm area of Invasive Ductal Carcinoma (IDC). This was potentially a game changer. With DCIS, I hoped to return to my life...with invasive cancer, I knew I would need more consults and possibly chemo.<br />
<br />
This was when it really began. Many women have a defining moment when they are told, you have cancer. I never felt that I did. It was nothing, then something, then something more. But even with a six millimeter area of invasive cancer, I was in the grey area of what to do.<br />
<br />
Once again I set up multiple appointments with medical oncologists. I was somewhat surprised that each one recommended some sort of chemotherapy. My options were the standard Ardimyacin with Cyctoxin followed by Taxol and Herceptin (AC + TH), or a newer option that proved to be less heart toxic Taxotere, Carboplatin and Herceptin (TCH), or a minimalist option of Taxol and Herceptin.<br />
<br />
Chemotherapy was recommended due to the fact that I was under 35 and the characteristics of the cancer were more aggressive. Because so much of my world at that point was babies and pregnancy, I thought it was interesting that in the cancer world, 35 is so young. In the pregnancy world, 35 is old! I was 34 and thoughts of more children danced in my head, not wanting to prematurely wean my child, and just wanting to be a mom to care for my children.<br />
<br />
After much deliberation, I decided to go for the chemo: twelve weeks of Taxol along with Herceptin. Then Herceptin would continue for another three to nine months.Amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14552556899207642038noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7046514548138459402.post-80755476053142944912007-02-07T23:21:00.000-05:002012-10-14T12:14:25.256-04:00The First SurgeryThe First Surgery was my first surgery. The hardest part of this cancer journey was the fact that I had a nursing child in my life. I'm sure cancer on it's own is not easy, but knowing that things going with my body were also having an impact on my child made it harder.<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
I had decided to back off my nursing on the one breast. I figured that less milk for the surgeon would be a welcome thing. Also if my breast was going to be very sore after surgery, I probably wouldn't want to nurse on it.<br />
<br />
Before surgery, radioactive dye is injected into the breast
surrounding the tumor. It needs to go in
at least four hours before surgery. The
dye travels the same path as the cancer might and goes toward the lymph
nodes. The surgeon looks for the “hot
spots” and removes those nodes. Many
surgeons like to give the radioactive dye the day before surgery, except if
surgery is scheduled for Mondays. I hung
onto that concept and even though mine was on a Wednesday, I opted to have the
dye placed that morning. The amount of
dye is very small, but I was cautious about the drug being in my body and
nursing <st1:city w:st="on">Sydney</st1:city>. One half life is six hours and I didn’t want
that interfering with going to bed the night before surgery! After all the details were worked out for
surgery, drugs, timing…we were set to go!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I arrived at about 8:30am at the hospital for the
radioactive dye. They were aware that I
was breastfeeding and “reminded” me that I should abstain for three days. I attempted to argue with the tech because I
feel that information is not correct and certainly didn’t jive with the
information I had gleaned from my research.
Finally I decided not to argue, but did feel pretty upset about the
encounter and it was not a great way to start the day. I received five injections of dye at
different angles around the tumor. I had
read that it burns receiving the dye and it does, but it was ok. They were impressed with my performance and
sent me on my way.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The Breast Clinic was my next stop. At different stages my lump was more
palatable than others. The last time I
saw the surgeon I was in the process of weaning from that one side and it was
feeling a little funny. The surgeon
could not easily find my lump, so he asked that I have a wire inserted into the
lump pre-surgery and left inside for him as a marker. At the day of surgery, the lump felt more
like marble than the dried pea it had started out as, but we went ahead and
used the wire – there would be no mistakes in removing tissue. I saw the radiologist and tech who I’d seen
before at my many visits to the breast clinic.
Using ultrasound the lump was found and did appear bigger than
before. They were going to use the
anesthetic lidocaine for the insertion.
I knew for my surgery I was getting lidocaine and there is a limit a
person can have. I asked if it was
really needed and maybe it wasn’t. So I
opted for no lidocaine and the wire was inserted. It is a fine almost soft wire that could be
bent over and taped against my skin.
Afterwards I had a gentle mammogram to document the wire. After the tissue is removed, it is x-rayed
again and the wire position is verified again.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Immediately afterwards we’re off to the hospital! My nursing toddler and husband had accompanied me to my morning appointments, so first we needed to drop <st1:city w:st="on">my toddler</st1:city> off with my
parents.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
At the hospital I was hurried into an exam area. Apparently my surgeon often runs ahead of
schedule and he was that day also. I
have a friend who is an anesthesiologist and offered to be at my surgery. He was waiting for me and made many aspects
of the day more pleasant. I had felt
early on that I did not want general anesthesia for the surgery. I had been poked and had core needle
biopsies, fine needle biopsies, had more mammograms than I care to admit…and
now they wanted to remove some tissue from the same area and put me under? I
didn’t want that. So my surgeon thought,
ok, we can try this, but I don’t think he felt confident about me being
awake. The anesthesiologist had
suggested a block for the surgery and at the time that sounded like a great
idea. Unfortunately, the block did not
work for me and even gave me some strange side effects. It is likely the entire procedure was done
using local injections of lidocaine. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I had a pregnancy test, blood work, IV inserted, blood
pressure a couple times, temperature….<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I was brought into surgery and asked to move onto a very
narrow “bed.” I got up and started to
climb over and everyone freaked out! The
anesthesiologist assured them that I hadn’t had any sedation. I guess they were worried about me
falling. I got into the right position
and the surgeon told me he’d have to watch what he said because I was
awake. I wondered what kinds of things
are normally discussed… Some propafol
was on hand in case I changed my mind about sedation and wanted to leave on
some level. I was assured that there are
many different levels of sedation and I didn’t need to be totally out with a
breathing tube. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I had asked the surgeon to only use blue dye for the
sentinel lymph node biopsy if necessary.
If the radioactive dye did its job, he wouldn’t need the blue dye for
extra verification. The blue dye often
stays in the blood stream for 24 hours or more.
I just couldn’t find enough information about it to feel good about
nursing with that in my system.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
After being draped and cleaned and having my arm wrapped in
a funny way they were ready to start. My
arm was wrapped so the surgeon could hold onto it easily and drape it up, down,
on him and other ways I’m not even sure!
It felt like it was being supported most of the time. I couldn’t see much because there was a blue
drape in my face, but I could look to the side and see the anesthesiologist and
also the door to surgery. The door
actually has a window in it, so I could look out and see people moving about
the hallways. The door was even opened a
bunch of times and one nurse came and went.
The anesthesiologist had brought music for me to listen to and he also
chatted with me the whole time. I could
ask about what was happening and he gave me updates too. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The first procedure is the sentinel lymph node biopsy. Two “hot spots” were located with a geiger
counter from the radioactive dye. He
noted I had a very active lymphatic system.
I hope that’s a good thing! The
cutting is done with a cauterizer and it stinks. There’s a burning smell and smoke. At one point the surgeon coughed and
coughed. The anesthesiologist told me
that using the cauterizer/cutter is like smoking for the surgeon. That part was not so bad. I felt some pulling and discomfort, but I was
pretty well numbed.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
After opening and removing the first lymph nodes, the
surgeon moved onto the breast. He had
seen the wire and also marked me up.
Instead of a simple line, he had made a wedge shape which would change
my procedure from a lumpectomy to a partial mastectomy. The cutting and removal went pretty
well. There were a couple times that I
actually jumped because a nerve was hit.
More lidocaine was injected. At
one point they needed to go and get more and calculated how much more I could
actually get. Too much can be toxic.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The breast tissue was taken off to radiology for the
x-ray. The nodes I did see. They were like little balls of pink tissue. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXP41yRQv2Gz5rxSUikpYbSjT3_OZbGypVt-k4VYzezwQ3m4015kG1iHbn1EqzWUaGw3UCGIJ1FuyqE2AbeirbA7rV6avRzAbvclOLBUuqIvkrI5afkkwne8ti15zq7uge9eBEyrpfN2Y/s1600/photo+(4).JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXP41yRQv2Gz5rxSUikpYbSjT3_OZbGypVt-k4VYzezwQ3m4015kG1iHbn1EqzWUaGw3UCGIJ1FuyqE2AbeirbA7rV6avRzAbvclOLBUuqIvkrI5afkkwne8ti15zq7uge9eBEyrpfN2Y/s200/photo+(4).JPG" width="146" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">2 weeks post op</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
I was than sutured up.
I needed more lidocaine at the armpit (where the lymph nodes were
removed) during suturing. When
everything was done, a nurse walked towards me with a large ace bandage. I asked her what it was for, thinking it was
to bind my breasts. Quickly I informed
her that I couldn’t have my left breast bound.
She hurried off to speak with the surgeon and never spoke to me about it
again. I think normally this would occur
while a patient was under anesthesia. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
After surgery I went back to recovery. They took my blood pressure and I went to the
bathroom. I got juice and graham
crackers, ice packs, tylenol and waited around for someone to tell me I could
go. They didn’t really know what to do
with me. I hadn’t had sedation, just a
bit of benedryl to stave off any histamine reactions to surgery. So after a very short time we left. My husband had been brought right in to see me
after surgery and the surgeon came by to tell us together that everything had
gone well. The surgery took about 1 ½
hours and the whole surgery experience took about 3 ½ hours. This doesn’t count the pre-surgery running
around. That took about 3 hours.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Often a quick frozen section test is done on the lymph nodes
removed during surgery. If there is
cancer found in those lymph nodes, more lymph nodes are taken. I didn’t want to risk having more lymph nodes
taken, especially because the frozen section test isn’t as reliable as the
paraffin section tests. I guess there
aren’t too many false positives, but there are some false negatives. I just wanted things done right the first
time. So I would wait for the test
results.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My husband and I drove to my parents to get <st1:city w:st="on">my daughter</st1:city> and I called my mother-in-law who had
picked my son up from school and had him at our house. At my parents house I did pump a bit of milk
for comfort and also to have less milk available for <st1:city w:st="on">my daughter</st1:city> because of the radioactive dye. After a meal and some visiting, we headed
home to see my son. I had been icing the
two areas and taking Tylenol. I did feel
some discomfort, but it was all pretty tolerable. <st1:place w:st="on">My daughter</st1:place>
did resume nursing regularly after the surgery on the unaffected side until
chemo decisions were being made.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
Amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14552556899207642038noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7046514548138459402.post-63541461243062172402007-01-05T00:15:00.000-05:002012-10-21T19:46:58.497-04:00The WaitingAnyone who has experienced cancer knows that the waiting is the hardest. Waiting for news, waiting for surgery, waiting for chemo. It's the unknown that can be so hard. Who knows how your body will react, without the complete picture, who knows who to call. Waiting is hard.<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I called, emailed, and researched as much as I could. I was connected with women who breastfed and who didn't breastfeed. I got the names of surgeons, I learned a whole new vocabulary.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I set up two appointments with surgeons. Figuring I would appreciate two points of views on things and knowing that this might be a unique situation. I also learned that a Sentinel Node Biopsy (SNB) might be a good thing to have done.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
It took a week to see the surgeons, and after settling on the second one, another five weeks to the surgery. He would perform a radial incision (to best preserve my lactating breast), attempt to get a minimum of a one centimeter of clean margin (outside the cancer), and perform a Sentinel Node Biopsy. When I also requested to remain conscious for the surgery, he sounded willing if my anesthesiologist friend was also willing and able.</div>
Amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14552556899207642038noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7046514548138459402.post-74637120119868088032006-12-29T18:30:00.000-05:002012-10-13T10:31:47.174-04:00It's DCIS, You Need a SurgeonI got the call just before the New Year's Holiday weekend. You have an early cancer and you need a surgeon. I was surprised and quickly moved into research mode. I had her spell Ductal Carcinoma In Situ (DCIS) more than once. I had just spent more time at the doctor's in the last two weeks than I had spent in the last four years probably! The last thing I wanted to do was see more doctors, and a surgeon, that sounded like a terrible idea. I wanted to get back to my life as a mom, wife, daughter and be done with this experiment.<br />
<br />
Because it was a holiday weekend, I couldn't do anything in terms of setting up an appointment. I sat in front of our computer and researched almost all day for three days. I learned as much as I could about breast cancer and DCIS. I quickly realized that DCIS doesn't usually present with a lump and that there was almost no information about breastfeeding and breast cancer.Amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14552556899207642038noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7046514548138459402.post-24970887420754065472006-12-27T10:21:00.000-05:002012-10-21T19:44:59.131-04:00It's Probably NothingThat's what my doctor told me, but went ahead and scheduled a mammogram for me.<br />
<br />
I couldn't imagine how this potentially 3-4 hour appointment was going to fit into my life. It actually fell on one of my mom's surgery dates. I called and rescheduled.<br />
<br />
Next, I had it scheduled for early December, but ended up with an intestinal bug and rescheduled again.<br />
<br />
Finally, the week before Christmas, my husband had off and could accompany me and my still nursing toddler for the long day.<br />
<br />
I ended up with an ultrasound, a mammogram, a fine needle biopsy of my tiny lump and a core needle biopsy of some suspicious clusters of microcalcifications. At each point I was reassured, it's probably nothing.<br />
<br />
I got the call from the radiologist after my appointment. The microcalcifications were nothing to be concerned about. The fine needle biopsy from my lump was inconclusive. She encouraged me to come back later, after the New Year, not to worry.<br />
<br />
Being that my husband was still on vacation and I figured it would all be easier, I went back right away. I had a core needle biopsy of the lump area to be sent off for more testing.<br />
<br />
After each of these uncomfortable tests, I was told that the next step was to bind my breasts. Each day at the clinic I was regularly confronted with the fact that I am breastfeeding. I nursed before each procedure as well as we could. I was cautious about drugs they might offer me. Even the angle and placement of each needle and core needle (gun like thing) was to preserve the breastfeeding relationship. Finally I declined the binding. I didn't want yet another breast problem to worry about.Amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14552556899207642038noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7046514548138459402.post-47233286272814435682006-10-25T22:09:00.000-04:002012-10-13T18:18:47.857-04:00The LumpMy life has changed from a pretty normal life of a stay a home mom to a new life. Each day I get my son off to school, get my toddler and myself ready for the day and head over to the hospital for the day. Once school is almost out, I race home to pick up my son. In the beginning, most evenings are spent back at the hospital.<br />
<br />
It becomes an exhausting existence attempting to care for my own family and my broken parents. My sleeping patterns are not good. There is too much on my mind.<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqTw9-GSe2luwnPxcz6WbO0FfoCJM9LqR1ZXtHJmDNcvRUri3jpCawVjYJd5udz4wfaB3m0zql7B1I3DPnrvDdl7LUNt5ATs48pXWn4MrKXnByXvjuswveMIbCW1rOWV_Huhrjj2E9QnY/s1600/AmySyd.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqTw9-GSe2luwnPxcz6WbO0FfoCJM9LqR1ZXtHJmDNcvRUri3jpCawVjYJd5udz4wfaB3m0zql7B1I3DPnrvDdl7LUNt5ATs48pXWn4MrKXnByXvjuswveMIbCW1rOWV_Huhrjj2E9QnY/s200/AmySyd.jpg" width="197" /></a><br />
This night was particularly wakeful. My nursing toddler seemed to need me more than usual. As I awoke in the morning, my finger rested upon my right breast. Somehow I touched this one spot and felt a tiny lump. It reminded me of a dried pea. As I had been a breastfeeding mother for almost seven years, I knew what was normal for my breasts. In addition I was a lactation counselor and felt like an expert. This small lump needed attention.<br />
<br />
I called that morning and was given an 11:00am appointment. I told them it was perfect, I would stop by on my way to the hospital.<br />
<br />
<br />Amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14552556899207642038noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7046514548138459402.post-27049036456207097412006-10-23T02:59:00.000-04:002012-10-21T19:42:18.533-04:00The BeginningIt's an average Sunday. I'm sure I did some laundry, played with my kids, probably read some books, and checked my email. These parts of the day I don't recall. My children are ages 2 1/2, a girl and 6 1/2, a boy. At about seven in the evening, the phone rings. A woman identifies herself as a social worker at the hospital. She informs me that my parents have been hit by a car and would like me to come to the hospital. My only question was, were they in a car? The answer was simply no. I thanked her and hung up.<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I called me sister and we decided we would both head over to the hospital to see what was up. My young two year old nursling would accompany me. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
At the hospital, it became clear that while the accident was not the worst case senario, it was far from the best. I met my sister in the hall and she looked upset. I asked if they were broken and bloody and she said yes; we hugged. What I would later learn is that there had been a multiple car accident involving a missed red light. The van which struck them was out of control. My parents both had multiple broken bones, abrasions, and head wounds. It would be a long recovery. </div>
Amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14552556899207642038noreply@blogger.com0